I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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