This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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