You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
