How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
