Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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