he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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