I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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