Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
