Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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