You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
