Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
