Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
They should really pass out barf bags in church
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
