T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
