he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
handjob tips. give me some.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
