You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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