You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
