Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
