is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
