Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
