You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
