our cab driver is having phone sex.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
