Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize