when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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