I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
