I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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