oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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