youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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