dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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