Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
should my penis look like a turkey
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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