is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
