She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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