I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
