ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
