I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
