I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
