I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
