jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
