Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
