Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
