Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
