we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
