That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My vagina is officially offended.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
