The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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