i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
