We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize