Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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