My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
