can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
