I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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