I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
