if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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