Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
