so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
