my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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