You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
