she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
