walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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