just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
