on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
