She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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