it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
